freakishlytallaustralian: (nauseatingpaleawkwardlove)
[personal profile] freakishlytallaustralian
Hello! Welcome to the Heart On Sleeve Club. You can come here and post, anonymously or not, about anything that's on your mind. Comments are not screened, although any trolling behaviour will not be accepted, and you will be banned, with no warning. Apart from that, anything goes, so whatever's on your mind, let it loose here.

Riddler

Date: 2011-01-05 02:29 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I'm afraid that I don't love someone I should, and that they love me as much as they're able, and it isn't enough for me. I'm afraid of breaking her heart, but I don't think I can keep doing this.

Date: 2011-01-05 03:57 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I have a propensity for emotionally jumping to conclusions in the absence of answers or feeling of closure.

Fairly recently had one of those episodes. I take full responsibility for it- I felt overly protective and paranoid needlessly so.

I just felt like sharing this, hours after the resolution to say I feel much better now and need to stop being a worrywart.

Date: 2011-01-11 03:48 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
*is late to the party* Eh, this still seems like a good idea.

Sometimes like I feel like everyone just likes me and doesn't truly love me. It's like life is a party. People invited me because I'm nice enough but everyone is laughing at this inside joke nobody bothered to tell me.

Date: 2011-01-11 09:23 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I'm terrified that someone will break my fa├žade and find out that there's really nothing interesting hiding behind the huge front that I put up. I'm terrified that I've wasted potential in my life and I'm terrified that everything I do will come to nothing.

Date: 2011-01-12 02:14 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Something that isn't too angsty but has been increasingly becoming a consideration. (Apologies, in advanced fer the ensuing rambling.) ^^;

I've been considering opening up a PayPal account and open up fer art commissions. Part of me feels my art is competent enough fer a paltry sum. As well, I've been feeling the heat at home to get a job; I DO realize art commissions (at least with my current experience level) should be only supplemental- that I should seek out a more pragmatic option for establishing my resume. Like a job in retail.

---

Though, one of the major problems intervening with my desire to stick my neck out is... that I've been burned before. I suppose I am fearful of untrustworthy or entirely too fickle clients.

I have only done two before, successfully, for faculty in the school I went to at the time. I was glowing, and perhaps overeager to trust anyone who said they were interested in paying me. I would then encounter a pair of individuals with such a request, they would of liked to have a group of character design sketches for a story they were working on at the time.

Things went badly, needless to say. Amongst other things, I was accused at harassment. This debacle had my confidence reeling for quite some time. It's been long enough (well over two years) that I don't believe they were diabolical fiends and I was just a victim; more like misjudgments and miscommunication abounded between both parties.

---

Anyways, the things I learned out of it... should I do this commissioning thing.

Advice #1: NEVER hinge commissions on verbal agreements ever again. A WRITTEN document will save you the heartache of "he said, she said."

Advice #2: Have a means to hold consented correspondence with client.

Advice #3: Also, make sure the client has the financial wherewithal and trustworthiness to follow through on payments. (Probably employ the business model of half payment at green light, other half at completion.)

Advice #4: Be careful at listening to requests that seem fishy. Blatant self-insert concept art for a poorly written story, for example, should sound alarms.

Advice #5: Be prepared for botched commission agreements. It will almost certainly happen again. Steel yourself, and learn what you can from your mistakes. Move forward.


If any fellow anons would like to pool pragmatic advice in response to this post- feel free to! I am hungry to know more, specially on matters of online commissions. (Links welcome?)

Date: 2011-01-12 06:10 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I'm afraid that I'm going to cause my parents to divorce by living off of them. That's almost what happened last time they were under serious financial need.

Date: 2011-01-14 01:42 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I have just watched a documentary titled, "The Perfect Vagina." I will highly suggest this film for any woman young or old that have [or had] self-image struggles about their equipment to watch this.

This documentary is about cosmetic surgeries such as labiaplasties- therefore I express caution on seeking/watching it at work.

Though I will not say I subscribe to outright loving (in a new wave hippie sort of way) the labial folds- I will choose to accept them as my normal human anatomy and know that such a procedure is extraneous, superficial, and risky to consider personally.

However, I'll leave what you take from it, on you, fellow anons and readers.

Date: 2011-03-14 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I'm having troubles shaking off feelings of being someone's replacement goldfish.

I don't think I can compare to her (the missing friend), and I feel scared that I may be simply inadequate for filling that hole like she'd (that someone) want...

I don't think she thinks of me like that... but emotionally...

Date: 2011-03-17 12:55 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I don't understand why people even bother hanging out with me. I'm a nice person but I think that's about it as far as good qualities go. I've got lots of bad qualities, though. I'm lazy, boring, insecure, and pathetic person. >>

Date: 2011-04-14 04:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com
*Is really tired and drained from MSTing the first part of the VENGEANCE update*

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